I have the best intentions of using Substack to post regular updates and new blog posts, but sadly, blogging remains rather low on my priority list. That doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy it, though, so today I’m making time to share a little bit about life as a debut author.
As I’ve mentioned before, my upcoming YA debut THIN AIR isn’t actually my first published book—I’m also published in the adult sphere with Harlequin’s Love Inspired Suspense line under a different name. But let me tell you, launching a Big Five hardcover is a whole different ballgame than a mass market category romance. Any familiar experiences feel like they’ve been pumped up on steroids.
Debut year is full of big feelings—thrilling highs, crushing lows, and everything in between. Even the smallest things seem bigger. The waiting feels eternal, punctuated by sudden bursts of adrenaline-filled action and deadlines. Kind of like waiting in line for a rollercoaster ride, actually.
Today I want to share about some of the common negative thoughts and emotions debut authors may wrestle with, based on both my own experience and conversations with other authors. Although I list these as “you will…,” of course there’s nothing cookie cutter about a debut year. Each person walks their own unique path. But if you do feel any of these things, please know you’re not alone!
And before we get started, let me reassure you that selling a book to a publisher is a wonderful feeling. I’m fully aware of how difficult it is to reach this position, and I’m so very grateful to have a book coming out this year. But gratitude and excitement aren’t foolproof shields to prevent negative feelings, and it’s easier to deal with the bad stuff if you acknowledge it first. So here we go!
1. You will feel anxious.
When I received “the call” for our first offer on THIN AIR (and also for my first adult LIS book), all I felt was sheer elation. What could be more amazing than knowing the story you’d labored over for years was going to be a real book? I lost sleep over my excitement, imagining my book on store shelves and what it would feel like to be a “real author.”
But there’s a long wait with traditional publishing between offer and actual book, and no human can exist in a state of emotional high forever. With my first LIS book, the timetable was actually very fast for trad publishing—about ten months—but that still left plenty of time for reality to settle in. For THIN AIR, it’ll be two and a half years.
When your book is published, people will read it. Other than just your agent or your editor or your writing bestie. And *gasp* (I almost hate to say it), they will not all like it. All it takes is a quick tour of your favorite books on Goodreads to realize every book gets negative reviews. This realization was the first source of my anxiety: knowing my friends and family and possibly thousands of strangers would read my book. Would they hate it? Would they think I was a terrible writer? Would I be booted out of the community and crush my innate need for safety?
Then comes the related realization—when you become a professional author, you’re not only putting your work out in the world, but you have to put yourself out there too. You’ll be expected to help with publicity by talking about your book and doing interviews. Your publisher will want an author headshot to put on their website. Your friends and family will come up to you at random places like the church lobby and ask you about your book.
If you had shyly kept it secret before, afraid that others might laugh at you, those days are long gone. And while we like to tell ourselves we’ll “feel validated” or not be anxious about our writing abilities once we get a contract, I’m sorry to say that impostor syndrome doesn’t evaporate overnight. Even multi-published, bestselling authors still feel like frauds sometimes. The best antidote I’ve found is to try to channel all that anxious energy back into something I can do. (Reading your Goodreads reviews does not count.) Work on the next book, start designing a bookmark, set up a website or Linktree for yourself, or vent in your debut Slack group. And remember that you’re not alone!
2. You will be disappointed.
There’s no way around it—unless you have a seven-figure advance (and maybe even then), something about your debut year experience will let you down. Your acquiring editor might leave, orphaning your manuscript (happened to me). You might hate the cover concepts the design team sends you. You might not get physical ARCs. Your publisher might not pay for a Goodreads giveaway. They might heavily promote another author’s book but barely mention yours on social media. You might (ahem, will) get bad reviews. Your editor might not get blurbs back in time to put on your book cover.
We all have expectations, maybe even more when it comes to something as big and exciting as getting a book published, so it only makes sense not all those expectations will be met. It doesn’t help that publishing tends to be a very opaque industry, leaving authors guessing about what’s going on behind the scenes. Once you meet your deadlines, your book’s fate is in their hands. It can be hard to let go and get back to the one thing you can control—writing your next book.
3. You will experience FOMO.
Community is a great thing, especially in the writing world where so much of our work is done alone. I love being part of my debut Slack group, where we ask each other questions, share information, celebrate each other’s wins, and vent about the bad stuff.
On the downside, any time you talk to other authors, you’re bound to experience FOMO—the fear of missing out. Oh, what’s that? Another author is getting a special book crate edition of their book? What about those writers who were asked to join a debut author panel at a book festival? Or the other debuts from your same publisher who are getting lots of social media attention, and your book isn’t? You can feel genuinely happy for someone else and still be afraid that you or your book won’t experience that same level of success. At times like these, it’s important to remember your own wins. We’re all on our own paths, and there will be plenty of opportunities in the future.
4. You will think you’re in over your head.
Selling a book is an amazing, confidence-boosting experience. Then…the edit letter arrives. My first one was nine pages long. We had another round of developmental edits after that, followed by line edits, copy edits, and several more rounds of pass pages. And that’s just the manuscript part. There’s also back-and-forth feedback on the cover art (if you’re lucky and your publisher gives you a say) and possibly an audio book. Don’t forget foreign rights and film rights! And we haven’t even started on marketing and publicity yet.
Did you get your second book finished yet? If you sold your first in a multi-book deal, you’ll have to get that draft done for the next deadline. If it’s an option book instead, you don’t want to take too long to submit to your editor, or else you’ll feel left behind while everyone else in your debut group is announcing their next book.
Don’t forget to keep up with your social media promotions. Maybe you’d like to do a pre-order campaign too? Launch team? Newsletter? Website? Author headshots? Blog posts and author interviews? Launch event?
Sorry if I’m making your head spin. All this stuff is truly a privilege to even get to think about—after two of my books died on submission, no one knows this as well as I do. But that doesn’t mean it’s not overwhelming sometimes. That’s where having an agent, critique partners, and fellow debut authors as a support system can make all the difference. You don’t have to do all of it, and you certainly don’t have to do it alone.
5. You will get sick of your own book.
Remember all those edits I mentioned? You will have read your book at least fifteen times by the time it goes to print. Maybe more, if you include initial revisions on your own, after beta reads, or with your agent prior to sending on sub. Your book will start to feel like the worst, most predictable thing you’ve ever written, right at the moment when you’re supposed to be shouting about how great it is on social media.
Rest assured, it is great. Readers will love it. Your story will feel fresh and exciting to them—it’s only boring to you because you’ve read it ten thousand times. Think of it like a movie you love, but you’ve watched a little too often. It gets hard to feel the highs and lows of the story when you have all the dialogue memorized.
6. You will wonder if you can do this.
We’re circling back around to #1—anxiety and impostor syndrome rearing their ugly heads again. When your debut book comes out, the stakes feel impossibly high.
I hardly have any Goodreads adds. Nobody cares about my book.
Everyone else makes cute TikToks but I’m not even on TikTok. Is my book doomed?
If this book tanks, I’ll never sell another manuscript again.
If readers hate the story, they’ll never read my next one.
Sure, book #1 came out okay, but what if book #2 is a dumpster fire?
Unfortunately there’s an endless array of negative thoughts that can plague you as you press on toward your first book’s birthday. As we already talked about, there are so many moving parts to releasing a book, and most of them are not in the author’s control. You will likely feel like you’re not doing enough. Even if book one seems to be surpassing your expectations in terms of buzz, you still have to write book two if you want to turn this gig into a career. But what if book two is a failure?
Let me set your (and my) mind at ease. Our careers don’t ride on one book. Or on how many social media posts we create, or how many 5-star or 1-star reviews we get, or whether Kirkus gives the book a star. Building a successful author career requires the one thing you actually can control—sitting down, day after day, at your computer to write your stories. The route might be slower or more circuitous for some of us than others, but the end goal—a successful writing career that you actually enjoy—is attainable.
And thankfully the emotional rollercoaster will ease up. I tell myself this all the time, because I’ve experienced this fact with my adult LIS books. My fourth one released last month (and even hit the PW mass market bestseller list!), and I felt totally chill about the whole process. I knew what needed to be done, I took care of it, and I celebrated a successful launch without losing sleep. Fingers crossed I feel just as chill by the time my fourth YA book comes out. :)
So, if you’re staring down anxiety, impostor syndrome, FOMO, disappointment, or any other unexpected negative emotion during your debut year, rest assured you are perfectly normal! If you’d like a little extra help processing everything, here are a couple of podcasts I’ve found helpful:
The Author Burnout Cure podcast with Isabel Sterling — Isabel is an author and certified coach with lots of great insights.
The Publishing Rodeo podcast — this one is for those moments when you really wish you could understand what’s happening behind the scenes, but you have no idea because publishing is too secretive and opaque. Learn all about what makes a book successful and how to build your author career.
Last of all, to end on a positive note, pre-order campaign details for THIN AIR will be coming out later this week! Can’t wait to share with you!